Valentines Day is everyday when you love your Partner

They say that Valentines' day falls on February the 14th..and if you are not good or showy in Love to your" Partner" watch out..you gotta pay..! For us..My.. Canadian Cowboy and life partner Brian and I its a cool deal. Valentines Day is everyday..and if he or I go the extra special Mile on the 14th of February... Well more to celebrate.!.
My Mother in India always says.." Why do Westerners have Mother's day and Father's day and Valentines day?
EVERYDAY in life should be Mother's day and Father's day and Valentines day..Love is not a " Once a year' showy occasion..it is a Life time of thoughts and actions and a deep heart and soul commitment that is much more than Flowers and chocolates and restaurants.Love begins at home with Mom and Dad , our Grand parents and siblings and what we learn from them..carries on forever..

This year I had a Business presentation a day after the Valentines Day and Family Day weekend..and my Cowboy stayed up to help me with my " Power Point presentation "and preparation..that was a million times more ' Powerful" than any gift ..He even woke up at 6 am to give me moral support! 
I have a beautiful friend who does not wish to be named, she had serious surgery last year and her husband took care of her in every way ,then recently he had a heart related operation...and she took great care of him though she was still unwell..their love and dedication to each other is a light house for everyone who knows them.

I can tell when a couple is happy because they will always be happy for others who are in love and wish them well from the bottom of their hearts and would never ever wish to see them apart..But those who are unhappy in their marriages wish others the same...

There are couples who always quarrel with each other and when they stop they begin to quarrel with others..I feel a real sadness for them. In The Indo - Canadian and Canadian- Canadian community and family of 'cousins' I have often seen these ' Unhappy Couples' who show ' extreme' concern about my '  marriage and relationship' with  Brian who is obviously a very Canadian Cowboy. 
There are some husbands who are reduced to the level of 'attack dogs' and their purpose is to attack every person their wife dislikes..  That is the proof of their 'love' and character of their marriage to a vain and self centered women. "Prove your love by being a source of threat and danger to the `enemy' and if there is no real enemy..' create one'." It is easy to look around and spot such husbands. 
A few years back when Brian and me were in the early stages of our relationship a pack of three 'close friends' from the Indian Temple I visit phoned my Mother in India without my knowledge and `complained and voiced their deep concern' about my being with a very White Canadian guy who is not part of ' The' Temple community I belong to.
Of these Three`friends' two are the Indian-  version of `Desperate, unhappy Housewives' and the third an Uncle figure who is the male and 60 + version of a Desperate Housewife whatever that word maybe. My Mother laughed when  she told me about their ' concern'. At first I was filled with anger and rage..but now yes I have anger and contempt but  I also feel a sadness for them .. A sadness that they married for all the wrong reasons..never found true Love or happiness in Life or are not worthy of receiving or giving it and they redeem their own emptiness by trying to harm and hurt others. In that way I have a lot of respect for North Americans in that they are less hypocritical and `sly' about the way they deal with or show their emotions.You call a " Spade a Spade' in North America..and you pay heavily for any such 'un welcome actions' of 'invading the peace and privacy' of a persons family and Life..

Anyone Home? Just Visiting !

Years ago we had this aunt from New Jersey America..she and her family would visit India every second year and stay at the homes of all the relatives. All the relatives would lay out the ' Red carpets 'for them and give them a generous welcome  no matter how rich or modest their circumstances were..that is the way of India and Indians. My own Father was not only  an industrialist  but had a very large and giving  heart..He genuinely  believed in treating friends and Family Like royalty because he loved to share his blessings and wealth and Loved people He would send Chauffer Driven cars to the airport and take our guests and relatives  in and around Poona to all the best spots and to the near by towns of Panchgani, Mahabaleshwar and Aurangabad. He would entertain and host them at 5 star hotels when they were outside town and took them to silk emporiums and jewelry stores where they shopped like the World was coming to and end and they needed to stack up on ammunitions ! .My Father footed all their extravagant bills. . When they left..all the families including ours had 'horror' stories of how this `Terrorizing American aunt' and her husband and daughter had tried to break their families up..pitted husbands against wives..children against parents, parents against kids and siblings against siblings.. In time most of us got smart and closed the doors of welcome to them. Unfortunately the weaker members of the clan or those who had reached some levels of Sainthood still let them in. Unfortunately this Cherry Hill " Aunt" had a few admirers and clones who  thought this was the `cool' American thing to do and picked up her habits such as the " Lets break up families' games..Brian tells me that every family or community , church or temple has these ' destructive Forces' and they are the True
 " Instruments of the Devil' .If you give someone the power to come into your life and interfere in your family or relationship..you are opening up a " Pandora's Box"..so protect yourself..it is not selfishness.it is Self preservation Do not let  Anyone Enter your ' Sacred relationship or space"...Keep your relationship as sacred and private as possible.That is my little word of wisdom for Valentines Day!

So back to our Valentine's Day. To celebrate we have a favorite Greek restaurant  on Roncesvalles known as `Aris Place' and if you haven't been there its worth checking out..small homely and very ' Canadian with an old world touch and excellent food and  friendly staff. They have pictures of the Roncesvalles area dating back to the early 1900 's and reminds Brian of the years when his Grand Mother came alone on a ship to Canada from Scotland almost 80 years ago..Brian's Grand Ma met his Grand Pa at the Lake shore on`Sunny Side.' which is just down the street...Grand pa was a true American Cowboy from Ohio..who gave up his life in the USA to move to Canada and be with Grand Ma forever since she did not want to move to the USA..that is their Love story ..the rest is history..This is why Brian understands what it was like for me to come alone to Canada 14 years ago..In North America ..just go a few generations here or there and you find someone who came alone on a ' Boat/Ship/ Plane or Train and even  Horse back from somewhere :) The  rest is History!

When my parents lived in St Catherine's town near the Niagara Falls many years ago..this Greek restaurant  was just the kind of place they would go to and I have seen pictures in my Dad's album of his beloved Canada including his Favorite Greek restaurants..



 The Toronto Lakeshore in Winter

Brian and I took a walk down to the Lakeshore on Sunday morning the day following Valentines'. The coldest day of almost 30 years because we wanted to see how the " Lake was steaming' in the cold  and because Brian is a passionate ' outdoors' type of guy who loves winter and loves cold weather..in fact he is often better than the weather.guys in  his weather predictions! So there we were by the water front one minute and a few minutes later we were both shaking and trembling as the icy winds hit us and we ran to the nearest Coffee shop on the Queensway for warmth and comfort. Dont ever trying messing with the Cold winds..not if its below - minus 40 for sure!



A Squirrel in the Snow Toronto

I have a band of ' Faithful Squirrels" that sit on my Kitchen window sill every morning waiting for the " Treat'. The colder it gets..the more noisier they are and even bang at the window panes if Im late. They Love the `Parle Glucose D biscuits' ( made in India ) which I buy at the local  Canadian" No Frills Grocery store" . Brian's mom thinks cookies are a bad idea..I told her that I have seen the same Band of Squirrels hanging around the Indian temple near by and they Love the left over ' Indian Treats' they get there.In fact I am sure they ( The squirrels) will be speaking Hindi one of these days..of course Pea Nuts were created by the Good Lord for them and them alone. so...Amen.

Talking of Bands..In late January Brian took me down memory lane where the Phoenix Theatre an icon for Music Lovers who grew up in Toronto , hosted a show in honor of the Led Zeppelin band of the 80's.

An image from the Live aid Consort of July 13th 1985

In the 80's while I was a school girl in India. Brian was growing up in Canada. His friends and he grew up listening to and following the Likes of the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Zed Lapplin ( oh is that the wrong spelling ?) and more.
Brian was one of the thousands of Youngsters at the Historical Live Aid Consort at Philadelphia in 1985.  At Live Aid 1985 all the legendary Rock bands played (For the first time many great artists including, Ozzy Osbourne performed on stage with Black Sabbath at the Live Aid charity concert series. Other performers on the bill included Paul McCartney of the Beatles, Bob Dylan, U2, David Bowie, and Queen who delivered one of the most memorable stadium performances in rock history.)
I remember watching that show on TV in far away India and imagining what it would be like to be there. Some of my favourite songs are Bob Dylan's " How many Roads must a Man travel on.." and " Like a Rolling Stone" .and then..after meeting Brian  I got to have the real genuine Rock Show experience  and as they say..Better late than never!

 Vince Neil at the Phoenix Theatre in Toronto

Well it was Brian's generation and older that was at Phoenix Theater that night to watch Vince Neil perform the Led Zapplin Favourites . TheTheater was packed and the mood nostalgic for those who were part of the Rock Scene in the 80's and 90's . Brian was reminiscing about his high School days and friends and swaying to the music when a sweet elderly pair of gentlemen actually offered Brian and me their seats at the packed show where most people were standing.. Brian tells me that the older generation of Rockers love to see Couples of Mixed race..they think its cool....Anyway That was such a chivalrous act and truly touched me. Phoenix theater is quite the Iconic place ..where the likes of the Rolling Stones and the Beatles have played Live ..during their visits to Toronto and for me it was something new..and always fun to learn about a culture that was so different that the one I grew up in..However Indian youth in the 80's and 90's especially in Western India - Poona and Bombay where I grew up..were quite in touch with and aware of the Western music scene and though thousands of miles away I remember always hearing this kind of music playing on my brother's music system..( I would stand outside his closed door and listen to the famous rock songs. Our little white Dog ' Lucky' would stand there with me..thinking we were trying to ' catch something' was it a mouse or a Gekko? No Puppy..it was the music we were `catching here'.. and then we would both run away  Lucky and I when my brother would begin to open the door.) 

Niagara Falls frozen in Winter.

Last year Brian and I spent Valentine's day weekend at  Niagara Falls..this year since it was predicted as the record breaking cold spell for the region at - Minus 40 + with the wind chill in 100 years we have held our plans till its get a little warmer..maybe _ minus 10 or balmier..? after all Niagara Falls is our favorite romantic spot..its where we went to on our first date almost  exactly 6 years ago. Niagara Falls was also special for my Mother and Father and so holds a very special place in my heart..On weekends I get to spend some time with Brian's Mom Irene while Brian renovates her 100 year old home almost brick by brick and wall by wall. He does it after a full week of work and his dedication , concern and unselfishness is amazing. He takes on the job of 5 men or more alone.. Saturday is ' Family time for the three of us..Mrs Irene as I call her saves some of her favorite funny shows on the TV for me .We both watch the shows together when she gets back from her `Bingo' game..Mrs Irene and I watch `Last Man Standing.'.`Mike and Molly' and `Blue Bloods' ( which is not funny but serious) and is an excellent show..Mrs Irene comes of as stern at first but actually has  a wonderful heart..On the coldest weekend of the season she went out and bought me a beautiful pair of Winter boots on sale because she though my Pink running shoes were not for the snow...and its not because I cannot get my own boots its because I am a bit of a Renegade when it comes to winter wear and still think that Running shoes have the best grip in Black Ice and snow. Brian is an even greater Renegade..we cannot get him to ditch a favorite pair of winter boots or a beloved jacket for years..not matter what we do..Well Brian's Mom was sweet to get me those boots and just in case you are reading this..Wal Mart has a great ' winter sale.." so buy your boots now for next year at half the price of one..Something that made Brian's Mom and me shared a very very good laugh recently was a remark about ' Indians' ( from India ) on the Mike and Molly show:The remark on the : "Hey this Person is really brave they has been living with a real Indian for more than 7 years..Not THE Indians that `run the casinos'..But the one's that run the  7/ 11 Stores ! I Liked that. I was not offended..is that how Americans see us ?The 7/11 Indians ..though we run much more..Indian Americans run for Government..They are the best Doctors and businessmen and as the world knows they run the Silicone valley and IT bussiness- Brian chuckled when I told him about the 7/11 Joke and said to me.." 7/ 11 or 24/7 you are just my type......I love you my Little Indian Princess''  Same to you my Beloved Cowboy...and you are just my type too...Valentines day or not.. I Love you today..tomorrow and forever !