They say that Valentines' day falls on February the 14th..and if you are not good or showy in Love to your" Partner" watch out..you gotta pay..! For us..My.. Canadian Cowboy and life partner Brian and I its a cool deal. Valentines Day is everyday..and if he or I go the extra special Mile on the 14th of February... Well more to celebrate.!.
My Mother in India always says.." Why do Westerners have Mother's day and Father's day and Valentines day?
EVERYDAY in life should be Mother's day and Father's day and Valentines day..Love is not a " Once a year' showy occasion..it is a Life time of thoughts and actions and a deep heart and soul commitment that is much more than Flowers and chocolates and restaurants.
Love begins at home with Mom and Dad , our Grand parents and siblings and what we learn from them..carries on forever..
This year I had a Business presentation a day after the Valentines Day and Family Day weekend..and my Cowboy stayed up to help me with my " Power Point presentation "and preparation..that was a million times more ' Powerful" than any gift ..He even woke up at 6 am to give me moral support!
I have a beautiful friend who does not wish to be named, she had serious surgery last year and her husband took care of her in every way ,then recently he had a heart related operation...and she took great care of him though she was still unwell..their love and dedication to each other is a light house for everyone who knows them.
I can tell when a couple is happy because they will always be happy for others who are in love and wish them well from the bottom of their hearts and would never ever wish to see them apart..But those who are unhappy in their marriages wish others the same...
There are couples who always quarrel with each other and when they stop they begin to quarrel with others..I feel a real sadness for them. In The Indo - Canadian and Canadian- Canadian community and family of 'cousins' I have often seen these ' Unhappy Couples' who show ' extreme' concern about my ' marriage and relationship' with Brian who is obviously a very Canadian Cowboy.
There are some husbands who are reduced to the level of 'attack dogs' and their purpose is to attack every person their wife dislikes.. That is the proof of their 'love' and character of their marriage to a vain and self centered women. "Prove your love by being a source of threat and danger to the `enemy' and if there is no real enemy..' create one'." It is easy to look around and spot such husbands.
A few years back when Brian and me were in the early stages of our relationship a pack of three 'close friends' from the Indian Temple I visit phoned my Mother in India without my knowledge and `complained and voiced their deep concern' about my being with a very White Canadian guy who is not part of ' The' Temple community I belong to.
Of these Three`friends' two are the Indian- version of `Desperate, unhappy Housewives' and the third an Uncle figure who is the male and 60 + version of a Desperate Housewife whatever that word maybe. My Mother laughed when she told me about their ' concern'. At first I was filled with anger and rage..but now yes I have anger and contempt but I also feel a sadness for them .. A sadness that they married for all the wrong reasons..never found true Love or happiness in Life or are not worthy of receiving or giving it and they redeem their own emptiness by trying to harm and hurt others. In that way I have a lot of respect for North Americans in that they are less hypocritical and `sly' about the way they deal with or show their emotions.You call a " Spade a Spade' in North America..and you pay heavily for any such 'un welcome actions' of 'invading the peace and privacy' of a persons family and Life..
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| Anyone Home? Just Visiting ! |
Years ago we had this aunt from New Jersey America..she and her family would visit India every second year and stay at the homes of all the relatives. All the relatives would lay out the ' Red carpets 'for them and give them a generous welcome no matter how rich or modest their circumstances were..that is the way of India and Indians. My own Father was not only an industrialist but had a very large and giving heart..He genuinely believed in treating friends and Family Like royalty because he loved to share his blessings and wealth and Loved people He would send Chauffer Driven cars to the airport and take our guests and relatives in and around Poona to all the best spots and to the near by towns of Panchgani, Mahabaleshwar and Aurangabad. He would entertain and host them at 5 star hotels when they were outside town and took them to silk emporiums and jewelry stores where they shopped like the World was coming to and end and they needed to stack up on ammunitions ! .My Father footed all their extravagant bills. . When they left..all the families including ours had 'horror' stories of how this `Terrorizing American aunt' and her husband and daughter had tried to break their families up..pitted husbands against wives..children against parents, parents against kids and siblings against siblings.. In time most of us got smart and closed the doors of welcome to them. Unfortunately the weaker members of the clan or those who had reached some levels of Sainthood still let them in. Unfortunately this Cherry Hill " Aunt" had a few admirers and clones who thought this was the `cool' American thing to do and picked up her habits such as the " Lets break up families' games..Brian tells me that every family or community , church or temple has these ' destructive Forces' and they are the True
" Instruments of the Devil' .If you give someone the power to come into your life and interfere in your family or relationship..you are opening up a " Pandora's Box"..so protect yourself..it is not selfishness.it is Self preservation Do not let Anyone Enter your ' Sacred relationship or space"...Keep your relationship as sacred and private as possible.That is my little word of wisdom for Valentines Day!
So back to our Valentine's Day. To celebrate we have a favorite Greek restaurant on Roncesvalles known as `Aris Place' and if you haven't been there its worth checking out..small homely and very ' Canadian with an old world touch and excellent food and friendly staff. They have pictures of the Roncesvalles area dating back to the early 1900 's and reminds Brian of the years when his Grand Mother came alone on a ship to Canada from Scotland almost 80 years ago..Brian's Grand Ma met his Grand Pa at the Lake shore on`Sunny Side.' which is just down the street...Grand pa was a true American Cowboy from Ohio..who gave up his life in the USA to move to Canada and be with Grand Ma forever since she did not want to move to the USA..that is their Love story ..the rest is history..This is why Brian understands what it was like for me to come alone to Canada 14 years ago..In North America ..just go a few generations here or there and you find someone who came alone on a ' Boat/Ship/ Plane or Train and even Horse back from somewhere :) The rest is History!
When my parents lived in St Catherine's town near the Niagara Falls many years ago..this Greek restaurant was just the kind of place they would go to and I have seen pictures in my Dad's album of his beloved Canada including his Favorite Greek restaurants..
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| The Toronto Lakeshore in Winter |
Brian and I took a walk down to the Lakeshore on Sunday morning the day following Valentines'. The coldest day of almost 30 years because we wanted to see how the " Lake was steaming' in the cold and because Brian is a passionate ' outdoors' type of guy who loves winter and loves cold weather..in fact he is often better than the weather.guys in his weather predictions! So there we were by the water front one minute and a few minutes later we were both shaking and trembling as the icy winds hit us and we ran to the nearest Coffee shop on the Queensway for warmth and comfort. Dont ever trying messing with the Cold winds..not if its below - minus 40 for sure!
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| A Squirrel in the Snow Toronto |
I have a band of ' Faithful Squirrels" that sit on my Kitchen window sill every morning waiting for the " Treat'. The colder it gets..the more noisier they are and even bang at the window panes if Im late. They Love the `Parle Glucose D biscuits' ( made in India ) which I buy at the local Canadian" No Frills Grocery store" . Brian's mom thinks cookies are a bad idea..I told her that I have seen the same Band of Squirrels hanging around the Indian temple near by and they Love the left over ' Indian Treats' they get there.In fact I am sure they ( The squirrels) will be speaking Hindi one of these days..of course Pea Nuts were created by the Good Lord for them and them alone. so...Amen.
Talking of Bands..In late January Brian took me down memory lane where the Phoenix Theatre an icon for Music Lovers who grew up in Toronto , hosted a show in honor of the Led Zeppelin band of the 80's.
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| An image from the Live aid Consort of July 13th 1985 |
In the 80's while I was a school girl in India. Brian was growing up in Canada. His friends and he grew up listening to and following the Likes of the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan, Zed Lapplin ( oh is that the wrong spelling ?) and more.
Brian was one of the thousands of Youngsters at the Historical Live Aid Consort at Philadelphia in 1985. At Live Aid 1985 all the legendary Rock bands played (For the first time many great artists including, Ozzy Osbourne performed on stage with Black Sabbath at the Live Aid charity concert series. Other performers on the bill included Paul McCartney of the Beatles, Bob Dylan, U2, David Bowie, and Queen who delivered one of the most memorable stadium performances in rock history.)
I remember watching that show on TV in far away India and imagining what it would be like to be there. Some of my favourite songs are Bob Dylan's " How many Roads must a Man travel on.." and " Like a Rolling Stone" .and then..after meeting Brian I got to have the real genuine Rock Show experience and as they say..Better late than never!
