There is a Song from the movie `True Grit.'.sung by the legendary singer Glen Cambell. The name of the song is..Someday little Girl.... This is a song that brings tears to my eyes and makes my hair stand on end..it is a song that gives me goose bumps..because each word is so true..it is almost exactly the kind of words that my father said to me as he lay on his death bed 23 years ago..and it is also a song of promise and hope that I should live my life with courage and grit and that one day the true love of my life.. a man of kindness and courage would come along and the pain would vanish..
When I was a young girl in India..I would love to hear about the stories my father and mother would tell me about their time in Canada and America, I would love watching cowboy movies and always dreamt that the man I would marry would be a true cowboy..tall handsome..rugged, brave and down to earth..and kind..( the inner qualities of my Dad)..
Yet tall, North American cowboys do not exist in India..so my dreams seemed so unrealistic to many.. My brother often laughed at me and so did most people..because I just refused to let them `find a good husband' for me. I revolted strongly whenever the plans to find me a match started and led quite a rebellious life on that count. I did not beleive in `arranged marriages' then and I do not believe in them now..
The funny thing was I actually believed in my dreams and visualized exactly what my true love would look like and be like...and Yes you are right..the man I always dreamed about looks exactly like my Canadian Love and Life partner Brian..so uncanny..but yet so true..
My father loved the songs of Glen Campbell..My father and Mother had lived in N America in the mid and late 60s and had a deep love and respect for the men and women of this land.
My parents returned to India to fulfill their family duties towards their old parents. All of his short life ( Dad died at the age of 52) my father was known as a man of great courage,an indomitable spirit and of a great heart...He knew that my heart and spirit longed for something that would take me across the oceans to his beloved land Canada one day..and though I was a young girl/ woman when he left us..he told me to be true to what I believed in..to always be a little girl in my heart and that one day..I would find the man who would be waiting for me..
This is the song from the Movie True Grit..which he spoke of..
"True Grit"
I have fought many battles in my life..I have tried to live my life with courage.,..to never be hypocritical in what I do or say.. When I was a lone lady crime reporter back in India..I always tried to write the truth and live up to the ideals I had set for myself and seen in both my father and my grand father..
Coming alone to a far away country like Canada was perhaps the craziest thing I ever did..but not giving up on the fight to make it.here..despite the great pitfalls and defeats .was the best decision I took.
The people who discouraged me the most in my journey alone here were sadly men and women from India who were also immigrants..settled or struggling here. The people who ridiculed me and laughed at me the loudest for preferring to be in a relationship with a ' Canadian Cowboy' were also from the same background . Interestingly the worst of the lot in heckling a woman alone as she lives her life in her own terms..were those that pretended to be the `pillars of society' status and money driven men and women . There is so much of hypocrisy in the `little expatriate communities' in Canada..that is often laughable how many masks men and women both wear.. ..I am proud of the great spiritual heritage of India and the love and simplicity which marks the character of the homely common man back there..but definitely not the 'sophisticates' who hide the `Shark hearts' behind their fake smiles..
It is here in Canada in my experiences within our Indian community that I saw the mean, jealous , selfish and inhuman side of the human character..
The strongest communities in the world are the ones that stand by each other..and the weakest those that try to pull each other down. India is weak because we are a billion people divided amongst ourselves in India or abroad.
As every individual knows In our search for love in life we also often meet the wrong person who can cause deep wounds and make us lose trust in humankind.Sometimes life can get me down..its not been easy 12 years battling it out alone in Canada away from my beloved Mom..my childhood friends and ..the wonderful people who have worked in our home for almost three decades ( such as Balu who is more than a brother than helper to us )my pets and everything that smells and sounds like home..
But every cloud has a silver lining, I followed the music in my heart and the drum beats of my soul..and ,The best friend I ever found..was my Cowboy Brian..and when I met him..I knew..he was the one my father had told me about..he was kind and deep and though incredibly handsome. and gifted .he is one of the most unpretentious and humble persons I have ever met.
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit.. When you find a man with true grit
Being homesick.. was really rough..until I met Brian in March 2009 ...it is ironic that he came into my life..just as my Mom who was here on her 'once in a few years' periodical visits was getting ready to fly back to India..
She once again voiced how much she wanted to see me with a good man who would be more than just a friend but a worthy partner for life..
..Brian was just back from a two year stint in Vancouver and was getting over a really dark period in his life too.. he had posted something really funny on a dating website..It was the day I was searching for something or someone who would be my best friend and my life partner..When I read his post it cracked me up.I laughed so hard..I wrote back saying how much I enjoyed his whacky sense of humour..
.I sent him a pic of two ground hogs looking into each others eyes and asked him to guess which one was me.
.One week later we met in real life ..He whisked me off to Niagara Falls ..it was the last week of March 2009..the falls still had frozen icicles at the edges..but I had a warm feeling about the man I had just met. Tall and handsome..a sweet, quiet and yet warm and friendly aura about him..his simplicity..non pretentiousness and honesty blew me away...two weeks later he came to meet my Mother.." I wanted to honor both you and your Mother" he says now..I found it touching then and still do now..
As a journalist girl I have met many men in my life. before I met Brian//. Indian , Middle eastern, European and North American..Every human being has something beautiful in them..some people touch others and bring happiness, joy and blessing into their lives but sadly.there are others who poison the very water they drink..that is their legacy to the world...
Often we meet a few individuals who are driven with a selfish self conceit that makes them evaluate themselves so highly that they have nothing to give but pain and a bitter experience to those they touch...and this vanity and superficial sense of self importance in such individual s has always been enough to make me run.. and I remember my father's words warning me that its time to run when you discover cruelty and selfishness that can poison your life if you chose the wrong friend or partner.
When Brian came to meet my Mamma..I was nervous...but I had no reason to be..
My lovable and sweet Mother had lived in Canada for almost 4 years in the late sixties with Dad( 1965-69) had a lot of love and respect for the true Canadian pioneering folks and their decedents such as Brian who are the heart and soul and salt of this land..Brian's grand Mother was a very brave Scottish gal who had crossed the oceans and come alone to Canada in the early 1930's..and so he thought what I did in 2001..was on the same lines as a his Scottish Grand ma..Brian's Grand Pa was a handsome strapping American Cowboy who met Grand Ma in Sunny Side Toronto and the rest is history..
I was wondering if they would understand each other...Mamma is a bit hard of hearing and has a distinct British and Indian accent..Brian is all Canadian Cowboy with more of a California drawl than the boring low monotone of many Toronto Canadians..
While I was heating Samosas and brewing coffee in the kitchen I was surprised to hear the two of them laughing and sharing jokes like old friends. When I walked into the living room He was complimenting her on her crisp Cotton White Sari and she thought it was so touching the way he smiled and blushed when she asked him to sing.. ( My cowboy like all good members of his tribe..is a guitarist and singer when he is not busy at work )....after he left she said.." This is the man who will walk with you and hold your hand until you draw your last breath of life.." powerful. Especially since it was just a week or two since we just met..She also commented that there was something about Brian that reminded her so much of my Dad..
I cried like a school girl being left alone at the airport when Mamma flew back to India...but my Cowboy Brian was there to console and warm me..I would learn bit by bit the personal pain and shock which he was overcoming in his own life and even though nursing his own wounded heart he was there to comfort mine..
That year 2009 we watched the Good Friday play at the Queensway and I almost fell off my seat when the Donkey came on stage with a young Jesus on his back and the `Apostles' did the `break dance' to some very funky music..no no not at all like the churches which the Nuns and Padres ran back in India..When the choir sang " Amazing Grace" my strong Cowboy Brian cried .and I knew then at that moment that he was the only guy for me..
Summer turned to winter and that was the year of yet another kind of flu hitting the city..one day I lay sick and weak in my bed when I got a call from my cowboy..was I ready to go up north to Midland to see the Snow squalls..Brian is as passionate about the winter weather as any true Cowboy..I am no less of an adventurer and we set off into the snowy wilderness to take on the Canadian winter..flu and all..
That Christmas week we played in the snow..he swam like an otter in the warm pool in doors and we drove across Lake and mountain country which was frozen over. from the litle town of Bala to Gravenhurst..from Brace-bridge to Midland...everyday we drove by the Martyrs memorial at Midland... a piece of history I would never have known on my own...and explored the snowy hills alone..just he and me and the elements..was this not the dream and the man I had waited for all my life and was this not the reason I came to Canada..? That was the first time that he said he loved me.. For.a man of few words ..who means what he says..each word is worth a million diamonds..
The years have flown..I got to meet his beautiful Mother Ma Irene and then his sister Karen and her family and eventually become part of the Cowboy's happy and warm family...They are laid back, unpretentious, happy and down to earth folk..hard working and very Canadian with the ability to share they hearth and their hearts with those who can respect and embrace them and be part of their lives......
The years of being ' so lost at sea' in a far away land..had ended for me..
We have had our scary moments..Brian is a very handsome man. In our Indian communities whether in India or abroad there is a lot of hypocrisy..Many women choose arranged marriages or partners for financial security and `social credibility'. The years pass then boredom and other things set in.. yes they have `hidden secrets and desires' that burst forth when they encounter a handsome western man...doesn't matter if he is married or single...Then the `predatory and man hunting' instincts arise..I have literally had to rescue Brian from hungry house wives `pawing him' him at social events within our community and his too..Sometimes former friends and acquaintances from his youth test the waters to see if he is still `available'.It is trust and love that enable us to withstand these encounters.. and also the ability to watch out for the ' sharks' who pretend to be friends or family...
However we prefer to focus on the positive and not the negative and we spend most of our time together in enjoying the simple pleasures of life..deep conversations, sharing a love for nature and each other and being best friends first and last and always true lovers..
When I am by his side on weekends..listening to old music on the radio..as he renovates his Mother's old home....and the song from True Grit comes up..I say to him...
"This is the song I want played on both our wedding day and the day I die..this is the song..which is almost my father speaking words from another world..this is the song which every loving father..has written in his heart for his little girl..
And no matter how many years pass..or how impossible the dream may seem..no matter how many people berate you or belittle you and laugh at your dreams..and at you..believe in yourself..and believe in your dreams...
for each word of them is true...
It does not matter if your dream is as insignificant as longing for true love in a far away land.. ..it may be even as great as wanting to save the world and even better saving the last of the species of the almost extinct bright pink whale that lives near somewhere the equator. Your dream may be for a better life..for freedom from oppression, for Truth..for .knowledge ..for hope..no matter how small or big your dream..I do believe we must each have the freedom to choose our own lives..and to every little girl out there who dares to dream I will say.. .
One day, little girl, the sadness will leave your face
As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done
Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about
But other's have known few battles are won alone
So, you'll look around to find
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit
When you find a man with true grit
One day you will rise and you won't believe your eyes
You'll wake up and see
A world that is fine and free
Though summer seems far away
You will find the sun one day
( Lyric from the Title song of the Movie True Grit)
By Lipi Mukherji
lipiwriter@gmail.com
When I was a young girl in India..I would love to hear about the stories my father and mother would tell me about their time in Canada and America, I would love watching cowboy movies and always dreamt that the man I would marry would be a true cowboy..tall handsome..rugged, brave and down to earth..and kind..( the inner qualities of my Dad)..
Yet tall, North American cowboys do not exist in India..so my dreams seemed so unrealistic to many.. My brother often laughed at me and so did most people..because I just refused to let them `find a good husband' for me. I revolted strongly whenever the plans to find me a match started and led quite a rebellious life on that count. I did not beleive in `arranged marriages' then and I do not believe in them now..
The funny thing was I actually believed in my dreams and visualized exactly what my true love would look like and be like...and Yes you are right..the man I always dreamed about looks exactly like my Canadian Love and Life partner Brian..so uncanny..but yet so true..
My father loved the songs of Glen Campbell..My father and Mother had lived in N America in the mid and late 60s and had a deep love and respect for the men and women of this land.
My parents returned to India to fulfill their family duties towards their old parents. All of his short life ( Dad died at the age of 52) my father was known as a man of great courage,an indomitable spirit and of a great heart...He knew that my heart and spirit longed for something that would take me across the oceans to his beloved land Canada one day..and though I was a young girl/ woman when he left us..he told me to be true to what I believed in..to always be a little girl in my heart and that one day..I would find the man who would be waiting for me..This is the song from the Movie True Grit..which he spoke of..
"True Grit"
One day, little girl, the sadness will leave your face
As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done
Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about
But other's have known few battles are won alone
So, you'll look around to find
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit
When you find a man with true grit
One day you will rise and you won't believe your eyes
You'll wake up and see
A world that is fine and free
Though summer seems far away
You will find the sun one day
As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done
Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about
But other's have known few battles are won alone
So, you'll look around to find
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit
When you find a man with true grit
One day you will rise and you won't believe your eyes
You'll wake up and see
A world that is fine and free
Though summer seems far away
You will find the sun one day
I have fought many battles in my life..I have tried to live my life with courage.,..to never be hypocritical in what I do or say.. When I was a lone lady crime reporter back in India..I always tried to write the truth and live up to the ideals I had set for myself and seen in both my father and my grand father..
Coming alone to a far away country like Canada was perhaps the craziest thing I ever did..but not giving up on the fight to make it.here..despite the great pitfalls and defeats .was the best decision I took.
The people who discouraged me the most in my journey alone here were sadly men and women from India who were also immigrants..settled or struggling here. The people who ridiculed me and laughed at me the loudest for preferring to be in a relationship with a ' Canadian Cowboy' were also from the same background . Interestingly the worst of the lot in heckling a woman alone as she lives her life in her own terms..were those that pretended to be the `pillars of society' status and money driven men and women . There is so much of hypocrisy in the `little expatriate communities' in Canada..that is often laughable how many masks men and women both wear.. ..I am proud of the great spiritual heritage of India and the love and simplicity which marks the character of the homely common man back there..but definitely not the 'sophisticates' who hide the `Shark hearts' behind their fake smiles..
It is here in Canada in my experiences within our Indian community that I saw the mean, jealous , selfish and inhuman side of the human character..
The strongest communities in the world are the ones that stand by each other..and the weakest those that try to pull each other down. India is weak because we are a billion people divided amongst ourselves in India or abroad.
As every individual knows In our search for love in life we also often meet the wrong person who can cause deep wounds and make us lose trust in humankind.Sometimes life can get me down..its not been easy 12 years battling it out alone in Canada away from my beloved Mom..my childhood friends and ..the wonderful people who have worked in our home for almost three decades ( such as Balu who is more than a brother than helper to us )my pets and everything that smells and sounds like home..
But every cloud has a silver lining, I followed the music in my heart and the drum beats of my soul..and ,The best friend I ever found..was my Cowboy Brian..and when I met him..I knew..he was the one my father had told me about..he was kind and deep and though incredibly handsome. and gifted .he is one of the most unpretentious and humble persons I have ever met.
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit.. When you find a man with true grit
Being homesick.. was really rough..until I met Brian in March 2009 ...it is ironic that he came into my life..just as my Mom who was here on her 'once in a few years' periodical visits was getting ready to fly back to India..
She once again voiced how much she wanted to see me with a good man who would be more than just a friend but a worthy partner for life..
..Brian was just back from a two year stint in Vancouver and was getting over a really dark period in his life too.. he had posted something really funny on a dating website..It was the day I was searching for something or someone who would be my best friend and my life partner..When I read his post it cracked me up.I laughed so hard..I wrote back saying how much I enjoyed his whacky sense of humour..
.I sent him a pic of two ground hogs looking into each others eyes and asked him to guess which one was me.
As a journalist girl I have met many men in my life. before I met Brian//. Indian , Middle eastern, European and North American..Every human being has something beautiful in them..some people touch others and bring happiness, joy and blessing into their lives but sadly.there are others who poison the very water they drink..that is their legacy to the world...
Often we meet a few individuals who are driven with a selfish self conceit that makes them evaluate themselves so highly that they have nothing to give but pain and a bitter experience to those they touch...and this vanity and superficial sense of self importance in such individual s has always been enough to make me run.. and I remember my father's words warning me that its time to run when you discover cruelty and selfishness that can poison your life if you chose the wrong friend or partner.
When Brian came to meet my Mamma..I was nervous...but I had no reason to be..
My lovable and sweet Mother had lived in Canada for almost 4 years in the late sixties with Dad( 1965-69) had a lot of love and respect for the true Canadian pioneering folks and their decedents such as Brian who are the heart and soul and salt of this land..Brian's grand Mother was a very brave Scottish gal who had crossed the oceans and come alone to Canada in the early 1930's..and so he thought what I did in 2001..was on the same lines as a his Scottish Grand ma..Brian's Grand Pa was a handsome strapping American Cowboy who met Grand Ma in Sunny Side Toronto and the rest is history..
I was wondering if they would understand each other...Mamma is a bit hard of hearing and has a distinct British and Indian accent..Brian is all Canadian Cowboy with more of a California drawl than the boring low monotone of many Toronto Canadians..
While I was heating Samosas and brewing coffee in the kitchen I was surprised to hear the two of them laughing and sharing jokes like old friends. When I walked into the living room He was complimenting her on her crisp Cotton White Sari and she thought it was so touching the way he smiled and blushed when she asked him to sing.. ( My cowboy like all good members of his tribe..is a guitarist and singer when he is not busy at work )....after he left she said.." This is the man who will walk with you and hold your hand until you draw your last breath of life.." powerful. Especially since it was just a week or two since we just met..She also commented that there was something about Brian that reminded her so much of my Dad..
I cried like a school girl being left alone at the airport when Mamma flew back to India...but my Cowboy Brian was there to console and warm me..I would learn bit by bit the personal pain and shock which he was overcoming in his own life and even though nursing his own wounded heart he was there to comfort mine..
That year 2009 we watched the Good Friday play at the Queensway and I almost fell off my seat when the Donkey came on stage with a young Jesus on his back and the `Apostles' did the `break dance' to some very funky music..no no not at all like the churches which the Nuns and Padres ran back in India..When the choir sang " Amazing Grace" my strong Cowboy Brian cried .and I knew then at that moment that he was the only guy for me..
Summer turned to winter and that was the year of yet another kind of flu hitting the city..one day I lay sick and weak in my bed when I got a call from my cowboy..was I ready to go up north to Midland to see the Snow squalls..Brian is as passionate about the winter weather as any true Cowboy..I am no less of an adventurer and we set off into the snowy wilderness to take on the Canadian winter..flu and all..
That Christmas week we played in the snow..he swam like an otter in the warm pool in doors and we drove across Lake and mountain country which was frozen over. from the litle town of Bala to Gravenhurst..from Brace-bridge to Midland...everyday we drove by the Martyrs memorial at Midland... a piece of history I would never have known on my own...and explored the snowy hills alone..just he and me and the elements..was this not the dream and the man I had waited for all my life and was this not the reason I came to Canada..? That was the first time that he said he loved me.. For.a man of few words ..who means what he says..each word is worth a million diamonds..
The years have flown..I got to meet his beautiful Mother Ma Irene and then his sister Karen and her family and eventually become part of the Cowboy's happy and warm family...They are laid back, unpretentious, happy and down to earth folk..hard working and very Canadian with the ability to share they hearth and their hearts with those who can respect and embrace them and be part of their lives......
The years of being ' so lost at sea' in a far away land..had ended for me..
We have had our scary moments..Brian is a very handsome man. In our Indian communities whether in India or abroad there is a lot of hypocrisy..Many women choose arranged marriages or partners for financial security and `social credibility'. The years pass then boredom and other things set in.. yes they have `hidden secrets and desires' that burst forth when they encounter a handsome western man...doesn't matter if he is married or single...Then the `predatory and man hunting' instincts arise..I have literally had to rescue Brian from hungry house wives `pawing him' him at social events within our community and his too..Sometimes former friends and acquaintances from his youth test the waters to see if he is still `available'.It is trust and love that enable us to withstand these encounters.. and also the ability to watch out for the ' sharks' who pretend to be friends or family...
However we prefer to focus on the positive and not the negative and we spend most of our time together in enjoying the simple pleasures of life..deep conversations, sharing a love for nature and each other and being best friends first and last and always true lovers..
When I am by his side on weekends..listening to old music on the radio..as he renovates his Mother's old home....and the song from True Grit comes up..I say to him...
"This is the song I want played on both our wedding day and the day I die..this is the song..which is almost my father speaking words from another world..this is the song which every loving father..has written in his heart for his little girl..
And no matter how many years pass..or how impossible the dream may seem..no matter how many people berate you or belittle you and laugh at your dreams..and at you..believe in yourself..and believe in your dreams...
for each word of them is true...
It does not matter if your dream is as insignificant as longing for true love in a far away land.. ..it may be even as great as wanting to save the world and even better saving the last of the species of the almost extinct bright pink whale that lives near somewhere the equator. Your dream may be for a better life..for freedom from oppression, for Truth..for .knowledge ..for hope..no matter how small or big your dream..I do believe we must each have the freedom to choose our own lives..and to every little girl out there who dares to dream I will say.. .
One day, little girl, the sadness will leave your face
As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done
Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about
But other's have known few battles are won alone
So, you'll look around to find
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit
When you find a man with true grit
One day you will rise and you won't believe your eyes
You'll wake up and see
A world that is fine and free
Though summer seems far away
You will find the sun one day
( Lyric from the Title song of the Movie True Grit)
By Lipi Mukherji
lipiwriter@gmail.com
