On Steve Jobs..India.. .Cowboy and "Me" Indian.....

My Cowboy Brian and I..often watch movies on cold Canadian winter  nights..for some reason 'The Cowboy' does most of the selecting..and as a result we have seen almost every movie  about Aliens and Flying saucers.....at least 10 about the `Alamo' alone,we have become `The authority ' on Cowboy and Indian flicks. With Clint Eastwood and the John Wayne classics being our favorite. Comedy is our `forte' and we both love to laugh and make others laugh ...and  then my Cowboy Brian said.."lets get ` Teckky "and we  got the latest movie on Steve Jobs...
...Brian loves technology and we both loved Ashton Kutcher in the 70's show...We bought the movie using his" I-Tune card from the `Apple Store'..



Steve Jobs in the early days of his Career.

As I said Brian is a Man who loves technology..at his job he is considered the top technical expert and is often called to `educate' the fellow staff on what is the right way to do things `technically speaking'..he has an excellent way of explaining technology with graphics and notes  to the Non Techies like  Me..the Indian ' princess'  ( or was it Squaw???) and other "closer to nature than to Technology "inclined folks in his life..

He has all the latest Apple toys and gizmos from Ipads..to the apple TV app  and once even had the `Tecky' at a store admit that he ( Cowboy Brian )was way ahead in his knowledge on whats going on in technology  even so that  many of the store staff. were not aware of some of the stuff. out there that he knows..about...
In keeping with side of himself.... the movie on Steve Jobs was something to look forward to for sure..for both of us

We were totally blown away ..as in amazed that Steve Jobs had once been to India after he dropped out of college. The movie says it was a spiritual journey in search of a higher truth .. and the scenes of him lying in the fields of Vrindavan and looking into the sky below the Mango Trees almost made me cry..

In fact  through out the movie....though his Extreme behavior in how he treated people  was legendary..his higher thinking..and creative genius are actually reflections on the words of the ancient Indian texts...."You can be whatever you want to be..you can create whatever you think of.." Raja Yoga..The Vedas.

Clint Eastwood....The eternal Cowboy..

Brian saw many parallels between himself and Steve Jobs..like in  our own small and humble way -- Brian's  creative instincts and gifts..( he has actually designed and created mechanical aids for home renovation  that have impressed some engineers and home renovators guys from Canada's top stores....) made him appreciate Steve Job's creative journey....

Like Steve Jobs..both I and my Cowboy Brian.. are true rebels against any kind of hypocrisy and pretentious behavior. We dislike manipulative and `cunning' people. .who try to impose their views and `controls on us'. I encounter many of these " busy bodies" in the expatriat  Indo - Canadian community often and never fear to speak out my mind at their hypocrisy. Brian has his share of ' control freaks' around him..and ' Woopie doo' he is a real `Cowboy on the war path' when they strike !,
.. However the greatest difference between Steve Jobs and my Cowboy is that Brian is a man with a gentle and kind heart who could never hurt or harm others or forget friends just to get ahead in his own life....that mean , killer instinct to fight and win in the corporate world will never be a trait of my soft hearted Cowboy Brian..
That brings us back to the subject of  spirituality. I think Brian's faith in God..is what makes him different from so many men..In a world where people ..especially men from the western world are afraid to speak of their faith..because it makes them look less " Cool' or less of a winner..is something my Brian is not afraid of..I have met his entire family and hold them all in respect..however what makes him stand out  and ..what makes him different in everything he does..says and projects is that at the end of the day he believes in something higher and lives his life by that code..He emanates a sweetness, a nobleness and a love and tolerance for people around him..that people who do not live their lives by a spiritual truth just cannot hold....we see often the best of people..cracking their masks and betraying their intolerance, hate and rage at others..because they are not capable of love and giving..because they do not have any love deep inside..the `Well' is dry...The `Well' that only spiritual love can ever fill..

Many people believe that they get along fine without any of the `spiritual stuff' that they are perfectly Ok..Until you know them better..there is too much of bitterness and "Myness"..My space..My house..My office..My belongings..to fill up the emptiness within...the movie says that it was that emptiness .. this "My "and " I " that made Steve Jobs lose all his friends, family and position. Until he `re- designed' himself , humbled and became ' Emotionally intelligent " that he then  found everything he had lost once again..as Brian put it..a lesson for us all...Steve Job's story is one of the greatest true  " Come Back " stories in our life time...I love the sayings of Steve Jobs..one of my favourite "“The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again.”   ― Steve Jobs

On  a lighter and more `whacky note' we have a funny story. One of the `Toys' that Brian lets me play with ..is the new Air I -pad.I love the I- pad though it  has played a strange game on me.....One day as usual I was typing my stories and letters on it..and asked Brian to check a letter for me ..

The I pad..has a `tool' that prompts it to quickly replace words that it thinks you have spelled wrong..Imagine his shock when Brian read a sentence that said.." Under the Circus Massacre"..he nearly fell off his  chair ..it seems the sentence was meant to say `circumstances' and as I was typing in the word..C-i-r-c-u-m-  The I- Pad like an over smart kid..typed in what `It' thought I was looking for..and I did not proof read ..I was left with a `Circus Massacre.' the rest is history......

I have still not lived down the `Circus Massacre.'.Typo..thanks to Ipad.. Brian is on a Roll' with it..I get to hear punch lines like.." so did they shoot the clowns because they were not funny? " and do they have Circus's in India ?..what happens when the Clowns forget their lines ???

What happens is that I have stopped using the I- Pad to write down stories and poems that will land up here....No disrespect to anyone especially not to Steve Jobs or the Apple guys..

I liked the life story of Steve Jobs..because he was straightforward.. True..a Creative genius..a perfectionist..he went down and then  came up again and we have all learnt a lot from him and his life..In today's terminology Steve Jobs was a `Time Traveler' who came back from the future to give us tomorrows technology.in ancient Indian philosophy he is a ' Raja Yogi " 
( master of meditation and concentration) who discovered new ground in the subject he loved the most.and we can all strive to be path  blazers in our fields if we know what it is that we are striving for..and aim on it..without getting lost on the way..

I also saw a connection..between The East and The  West..not just a coincidence that.. many great men and women of the West who became legends in their life time or beyond had a connection with India in some  small or big way and in some form..

So..To all the greats from Geroge Harrison..to  Krishna Das.(Born Jeffrey Kagel, )...from Steve Jobs to Vasco De Gama..from Margaret Noble to John F Kennedy Jr (when-john-f-kennedy-jr-came-to-india/) who took the time to visit India..that land that mesmerized travelers and seekers from times of yore..some came to seek treasures of the soul..some to find peace ..some in search of Gold and spices and some for `Nirvana.'whenever East and West have met..one has exalted the other..at every level..as my Cowboy and I understand...where spirits and hearts and souls have met..where love has bloomed and each has given his best to the other..then both have grown richer and both have blessed the world around them....!

Someday Little Girl..you will meet your Cowboy.....

There is a Song from the movie `True Grit.'.sung by the legendary singer Glen Cambell. The name of the song is..Someday little Girl.... This is  a song that brings tears to my eyes and makes my hair stand on end..it is  a song that gives me goose bumps..because each word is so true..it is almost exactly the kind of words that my father said to me as he lay on his death bed 23 years ago..and it is also a song of promise and hope that I should live my life with courage and grit and that one day the true love of my life.. a man of kindness and courage would come along and the pain would vanish..

When I was a young girl in India..I would love to hear about the stories my father and mother would tell me about their time in Canada and America, I would love watching cowboy movies and always dreamt that the man I would marry would be a true cowboy..tall handsome..rugged, brave and down to earth..and kind..( the inner qualities of my Dad)..

Yet tall, North American cowboys do not exist in India..so my dreams seemed so unrealistic to many.. My brother often laughed at me and so did most people..because I just refused to let them `find a good husband' for me. I revolted strongly whenever the plans to find me a match started and led quite a rebellious life on that count. I did not beleive in `arranged marriages' then and I do not believe in them now..
The funny thing was  I actually believed in my dreams and visualized exactly what my true love would look like and be like...and Yes you are right..the man I always dreamed about looks exactly like my Canadian Love and Life partner Brian..so uncanny..but  yet so true..

My father loved the songs of Glen Campbell..My father and Mother had lived in N America in the mid and late 60s and had  a deep love and respect for the men and women of this land.

My parents returned to India to fulfill their family duties towards their old parents. All of his short life ( Dad died at the age of 52) my father was known as a man of  great courage,an indomitable spirit and of a great heart...He knew that  my heart and spirit longed for something that would take me across the oceans to his beloved land Canada one day..and though I was a young girl/ woman when he left us..he told me to be true to what I believed in..to always be a little girl in my heart and that one day..I would find the man who would be waiting for me..

This is the song from the Movie True Grit..which he spoke of..

"True Grit"

One day, little girl, the sadness will leave your face
As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done
Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about
But other's have known few battles are won alone
So, you'll look around to find
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit
When you find a man with true grit

One day you will rise and you won't believe your eyes
You'll wake up and see
A world that is fine and free
Though summer seems far away
You will find the sun one day

 I have fought many battles in my life..I have  tried to live my life with courage.,..to never be hypocritical in what I do or say.. When I was a lone lady crime reporter  back in India..I always tried to write the truth and live up to the ideals I had set for myself and seen in both my father and my grand father..

Coming alone to a far away country like Canada was perhaps the craziest thing I ever did..but not giving up on the fight to make it.here..despite the great pitfalls and defeats .was the best decision I took.

The people who discouraged me the most in my journey alone here were sadly men and women from India who were also immigrants..settled or struggling here. The people who ridiculed me and laughed at me the loudest for preferring to be in a relationship with a ' Canadian Cowboy' were also from the same background . Interestingly the worst of the lot in heckling a woman alone as she lives her life in her own terms..were those that pretended to be the  `pillars of society' status and money driven men and women . There is so much of hypocrisy in the `little expatriate communities' in Canada..that is often laughable how many masks  men and women both wear.. ..I am proud of the great spiritual heritage of India and the love and simplicity which marks the character of the homely  common man back there..but  definitely not the 'sophisticates' who hide the `Shark hearts' behind their fake smiles..
It is here in Canada in my experiences within our Indian community that I saw the mean, jealous , selfish and inhuman side of the human character..
The strongest communities in the world are the ones that stand by each other..and the weakest those that try to pull each other down. India is weak because we are  a billion people divided amongst ourselves in India or abroad.

As every individual knows  In our search for love in life we also often meet the wrong person who can cause deep wounds and make us lose trust in humankind.Sometimes life can get me down..its not been easy 12 years battling it out alone in Canada away from my beloved Mom..my childhood friends and ..the wonderful people who have worked in our home for almost three decades ( such as Balu who is more than a brother than helper to us )my pets and everything that smells and sounds like home..

But  every cloud has a silver lining, I followed the music in my heart and the drum beats of my soul..and ,The best friend I ever found..was my Cowboy Brian..and when I met him..I knew..he was the one my father had told me about..he was kind and deep and though incredibly handsome. and gifted .he is one of the most unpretentious and humble persons I have ever met.

                            Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
                            The pain of it will ease a bit.. When you find a man with true grit



Being homesick.. was really rough..until I met Brian in March 2009 ...it is ironic that he came into my life..just as my Mom who was here on her 'once in a few years' periodical visits was getting ready to fly back to India..
She once again voiced how much she wanted to see me with a good man who would be more than just  a friend but a worthy partner for life..

..Brian was just back from a two year stint in Vancouver and was getting over a really dark period in his life too.. he had posted something really funny on a dating website..It was the day I  was searching for something or someone who would be my best friend and my life partner..When I read his post it cracked me up.I laughed so hard..I wrote back saying how  much I enjoyed his whacky sense of humour..

.I sent him a pic of two ground hogs looking into each others eyes and asked him to guess which one was me.

.One week later we met in real life ..He whisked me off to Niagara Falls ..it was the last week of March 2009..the falls still had frozen icicles at the edges..but I had  a warm feeling about the man I had just met. Tall and handsome..a sweet, quiet and yet warm and friendly aura about him..his simplicity..non pretentiousness and honesty blew me away...two weeks later he came to meet my Mother.." I wanted to honor both you and your Mother" he says now..I found it touching then and still do now..

As a journalist girl I have met many men in my life. before I met Brian//. Indian , Middle eastern, European and North American..Every human being has something beautiful in them..some people touch others and bring happiness, joy and blessing into their lives but sadly.there are others who poison the very water they drink..that is their legacy to the world...
Often we meet a few individuals who are driven with a selfish self conceit that makes them evaluate themselves so highly that they have nothing to give but pain and a bitter experience to those they touch...and this vanity and superficial sense of self importance  in such individual s has always been enough to make me run.. and I remember my father's words warning me that its time to run when you discover cruelty and selfishness that can poison your life if you chose the wrong friend or partner.

When Brian came to meet my Mamma..I was nervous...but I had no reason to be..
My lovable and sweet Mother had lived in Canada for almost 4 years in the late sixties with Dad( 1965-69) had  a lot of love and respect for the true Canadian pioneering folks and their decedents such as Brian who are the heart and soul and salt of this land..Brian's grand Mother was a very brave Scottish gal who had crossed the oceans and come alone to Canada in the early 1930's..and so he thought what I did in 2001..was on the same lines as a his Scottish Grand ma..Brian's Grand Pa was a handsome strapping American Cowboy who met Grand Ma in Sunny Side Toronto and the rest is history..

I was wondering if they would understand each other...Mamma is a bit hard of hearing and has  a distinct British and Indian accent..Brian is all Canadian Cowboy with more of a California drawl than the boring low monotone of many Toronto Canadians..

While I was heating Samosas and brewing coffee in the kitchen I was surprised to hear the two of them laughing and sharing jokes like old friends. When I walked into the living room He  was complimenting her on her crisp Cotton White Sari and she thought it was so touching the way he smiled and blushed when she asked him to sing.. ( My cowboy like all good members of his tribe..is a guitarist and singer when he is not busy at work )....after he left she said.." This is the man who will walk with you and hold your hand  until you draw your last breath of life.." powerful. Especially since it was just a week or two since we just met..She also commented that there was something about Brian that reminded her so much of my Dad..

I cried like a school girl being left alone at the airport when Mamma flew back to India...but my Cowboy Brian was there to console and warm me..I would learn bit by bit the personal  pain and shock which he was overcoming in his own life and even though nursing his own wounded heart he was there to comfort mine..

That year 2009 we watched the Good Friday play at the Queensway and I almost fell off my seat when the Donkey came on stage with a  young Jesus on his back and the `Apostles' did the `break dance' to some very funky music..no no not at all like the churches which the Nuns and Padres ran  back in India..When the choir sang " Amazing Grace" my strong Cowboy Brian  cried .and I knew then at that moment that he was the only guy for me.. 

Summer turned to winter and that was the year of yet another kind of flu hitting the city..one day I lay sick and weak in my bed when I got  a call from my cowboy..was I ready to go up north to Midland to see the Snow squalls..Brian is as passionate about the winter weather as any true Cowboy..I am no less of an adventurer and we set off into the snowy wilderness to take on  the Canadian winter..flu and all..
That Christmas week we played in the snow..he swam like an otter in the warm pool in doors and we drove across Lake and mountain country which was frozen over. from the litle town of Bala to Gravenhurst..from Brace-bridge to Midland...everyday we drove by the Martyrs memorial at Midland... a piece of history I would never have known on my own...and explored the snowy hills alone..just he and me and the elements..was this not the dream and the man I had waited for all my life and was this not the reason I came to Canada..? That was the first time that he said he loved me.. For.a man of few words ..who means what he says..each word is worth a million diamonds..

The years have flown..I got to meet his beautiful Mother Ma Irene and then his sister Karen  and her family and  eventually become part of the Cowboy's happy and warm family...They are laid back, unpretentious, happy and down to earth folk..hard working and very Canadian with the ability to share they hearth and their hearts with those who can respect and embrace them and be part of their lives......

The years of being  ' so lost at sea' in a far away land..had ended for me..

We have had our scary moments..Brian is a very handsome man.  In our Indian communities whether in India or abroad there is a lot of hypocrisy..Many women choose arranged marriages or partners for financial security and `social credibility'. The years pass then boredom and other things set in.. yes they have `hidden secrets and desires' that burst forth when they encounter a handsome western man...doesn't matter if he is married or single...Then the `predatory and man hunting' instincts arise..I have literally had to rescue Brian from hungry house wives `pawing him' him at social events within our community and his too..Sometimes former friends and acquaintances from his youth test the waters to see if he is still `available'.It is trust and love that enable us to  withstand these encounters.. and also the ability to watch out for the ' sharks' who pretend to be friends or family...
However we prefer to focus on the positive and not the negative and we spend most of our time together in enjoying the simple pleasures of life..deep conversations, sharing a love for nature and each other and being best friends first and last and always true lovers..


When I am by his side on weekends..listening to old music on the radio..as he renovates his Mother's old home....and the song from True Grit comes up..I say to him...

"This is the song I want played on both our wedding day and the day I die..this is the song..which is almost my father speaking words from another world..this is the song which every loving father..has written in his heart for his little girl..

And no matter how many years pass..or how impossible the dream may seem..no matter how many people berate you or belittle you and laugh at your dreams..and at you..believe in yourself..and believe in your dreams...
for each word of them is true...

It does not matter if your dream is as insignificant as longing for true love in a far away land.. ..it may be even as great as wanting to save the world and even better saving the last of the species of  the almost extinct bright pink whale that lives near somewhere the equator. Your dream may be for a better life..for freedom from oppression, for Truth..for .knowledge ..for hope..no matter how small or big your dream..I do believe we must each have the freedom to choose our own lives..and to every little girl out there who dares to dream I will say.. .

One day, little girl, the sadness will leave your face
As soon as you've won the fight to get justice done
Someday little girl you'll wonder what life's about
But other's have known few battles are won alone
So, you'll look around to find
Someone who's kind, someone who is fearless like you
The pain of it will ease a bit
When you find a man with true grit

One day you will rise and you won't believe your eyes
You'll wake up and see
A world that is fine and free
Though summer seems far away
You will find the sun one day 
(  Lyric from the Title song of the Movie True Grit)

By Lipi Mukherji
lipiwriter@gmail.com

Where there is House there will be Mouse : ( Happens only in Toronto)

What happens when a Canadian Cowboy..his Indian love..a pack of mice and a Punjabi landlord  meet  in a Toronto apartment.

Armed with the knowledge of all my tenant rights in Canada I confronted the new landlord with the shocking news : “ I have mice in my home” I told this elderly moustachioed gentlemen  Mr B P Sharma.

“You have a mouse ?” he asked in what I thought was an astonished tone. Until he said “Where there is House there will be mouse !” With his thick Punjabi accent and down to earth tone. It sounded pretty straightforward to me. “ You remember in India there were mice running around in all the houses. No body called the landlord. We hunted them ourselves.” He said.

Then as if to compromise he sent a man in a Blue Uniform from the “ Paste( pest) control services  Brampton ” To catch the rodents.

My Tibetan neighbours  below confronted the man Rajat Singh even before he stepped into the house.“ you can stun the mice they told him, but please do not kill them, Lord Buddha is the friend of all beings”.

The trapper came up to my apartment on the first floor “ I have been in this business for 20 years” he said “ never have I heard of a request to half kill a mouse and not fully kill it.now .what would you like..? he barked

“ Well there is a family of rats in My Kitchen” I said “they have eaten my food, chewed  up my clothes and shoes and they party all night. So I guess I would like to see them go..

He then set up some small black boxes containing rat poison in the strategic places of my  tiny home. Three months later their tribe had increased. Seems like they were too fat to get into the Black Box rat traps or the Tibetan `mantras’ that save mice actually worked!

My Canadian Cowboy Brian had had enough by now. Whenever he stayed over weekends with me. The mice actually nibbled at his toes and looked loving into his sleepy brown eyes..

One weekend he went into Canadian Tyre and bought the whole ammunition. Super Glue traps, snap traps and what have you..

Brian spent all Sunday setting up the traps “ I do not want to hear a word of protest from you about kindness to animals and how cute they look “ he warned in his deepest Cowboy voice “ One word and you and the mice will all be shipped off to India.”

A week later we were just sitting back to watch "The Pink Panther Strikes again " when two mice ran into the room. They saw Brian and skidded butts first into the gap under the side door. The movie was put on hold while Cowboy of mine..searched the apartment room by room for the `daredevils' and then decided to hold his fire for the night.


My angry letters to the landlord never worked.." Miss Lipi" he said " these are very small issues..there are many bigger things happening in life..go after them.. " sure I answered..

So the Cowboy and me followed the " Bigger issues in life.".We went up cruising in  the 30,000 islands  of Parry sound and dreamed of setting up a home by the lake and the mountians. oneday soon. We  saw deer and Golden Eagles..we splashed the beaches at Killbear National park , looked out for bear and drove through the breath taking mountains and Lakes of Muskoka,Port Carlton , Bala and more...Toronto..the mice and the city seemed so far far away..

 

When we came back..the mice almost opened the door for us..they were so fat, sleek. oily and ..bold and also many. more. ( since the last count)..They had not missed us one bit but had been holding their own `Labour Day' party..(in celebration of freedom )..





Food and tissue paper lay strewn over the floor and the distinct smell of "mice and the things they do" hung over the air..we both had had enough..

I had two options- Call the city ( civic authorities).. that would have been cruel on the good landlord and Tibetan neighbours or move out..!

Last count the Mice..the landlord and the Tibetans were still around..but the Cowboy and I are soon moving out to a place in the  beautiful mountains!

 

 

 

Cowboy and I..watch the The Beach boys in Toronto..More Golden than Olden..

Brian took me to the CNE ( Canadian National Exhibition) on Sunday ( August 18th)..The day ended at the live show of The legendary band Beach Boys.

Hearing them play live was the best thing that has happened to me in a long time..I was so high that I kept singing the lines from `Surfin USA' all through the night..until my cowboy Brian asked me to calm down and chill..

Nothing news worthy for a Canadian girl except that I grew up in India almost 15000 miles away in another continent .so.why would the Beach Boys excite me so much?
There was an Album 'Oldies but Goldie's' with the songs of Glen Cambell , Frank Sinatra the Beach Boys and other famous singers of the time in our home in India ( city of Poona ( Pune) near Bombay ( Mumbai..)

This was back in the 80's .My big Brother Tutu and I were growing up. Both in High School and this was a world we wished we were in ..but could only follow on the Long Playing records as a reminder of the golden days my parents had been part of..

Dad and Mom never forgot the best days of their lives in the mid to late 1960s when they had immigrated to Canada soon after their marriage.

N America was a totally different world for them .it gave them a sense of freedom..growth and romance that they had never known in India..Dad and Mom did return to India eventually in 1970 to fulfill family obligations and take care of their aging parents...

Dad and Mom lived in St Catherine's town by the Niagara falls and the American border. They were perhaps the only Indian couple in those days there and Dad loved everything N American..from Dunkin donuts to the Simpson Sears store.
Dad worked as an Engineer for the Foster Wheeler company and he was responsible for initializing one of the first International collaborations between India and Canada in Boiler manufacturing Technology..way back in the early 70s. ( but that is another story)


A connoisseur of good music whether it was Rabindra Sangeet Indian) or Jazz..they never missed any of the shows that were held by the American singers at the Niagara Falls in those days. I remember him mentioning Glen Cambell and the famous Jazz Artists of the 60s playing live there on occasion. It was a magical world which they were blessed to be part of..

Back in India.My father who was always nostalgic for N America would buy the old American records from the Taj Mahal hotels record store in Mumbai. One of.the only stores where you could buy good American music in India at that time .So we grew up listening to 'Surfin Safari' , `By the Time I get to Phoenix' , The Carpenters and other Golden Oldies as well as Indian music..always imagining what it would be like to grow up in N America..

..and here was I with my Canadian love Brian..three decades later..we were two amongst the thousands of people at the Band Shell at the CNE that late evening..it was beautiful ..a light breeze, perfect weather..the moon rising over Lake Ontario and then the Beach Boys came out....filled with as much if not more energy that most of the teenagers in the crowd..The crowd went wild..


As the Beach Boys sang some of the crowd favorites I could see many of the older couples holding hands and looking at each other as the band and their music carried them back in time...just at it carried me back to the Music room at home in India. some of it nostalgic ..some of it funny.. remembering those days when all of us cousins, would be trying to dance the `twist' or gyrate to the latest 'rock' song until we were `caught in the act' and spanked soundly..
( Wild dancing not approved by parents in those days in India :)

Back to the Band Shell.... Brian and I stand at the back of the lawns..he at 6 feet + can almost look into the future.and me at 5 ft nothing can see - nothing ! He suddenly catches hold of my hand and pulls me from way back in the stadium to the very front near the stage..and the security barriers..we are up there in the flood lights.. catching evey song and dance move and the energy is so electric..me holding his warm hand tightly and looking up to him with stars in my eyes,( he says my eyes look like fireflies dancing in the night ) .


I Think of my big bad brother. Tutu.and how much he would have loved meeting Brian and enjoyed this night. We would have talked of old times and how far we have come since then..( You've come a long way Baby!) He in far way Dubai and I..?

Well I did get here to N America and see the Beach Boys Live eventually ..following my Father's footsteps of adventure and .a passion to experience life.. and I did meet a real Canadian Cowboy....one who I fell very deeply in love with !

I could not see it ..but somehow Dad with his keen intelligence and foresight did..he knew that my true Canadian Cowboy was in Canada waiting for me !
Nothing in life came easily to me....but when I moved to Canada alone and eventually met Brian.almost five years ago...I knew that he was the one I had always searched for .

In Vedanta we call that `'samskcara.. (impressions from other lives or times that shapes the way a person thinks and what dreams they follow..)

.

Brian instinctively knew of what I liked and what I did not..what music my dad would have heard when he was in Canada and what he would have done if he was around..the places he would have taken me to..he can almost read my thoughts just the way I do his..like my dad he has a zest for life..can talk about a thousand subjects with in depth knowledge and has an open mind that lets us enjoy everything of each others cultures and yet remain uniquely ourselves..


23 years this November since my Dad passed on but whenever I look at Brian I know that this is why Dad had taught me to love Canada so much long before I got here..
Dad knew me too well and kind of understood that I had too much of his own adventurous spirit to ever settle into an arranged marriage and allow others to do the thinking for me.
I have paid many a high price for my rebellious spirit..too much of heart break ..Like the song More than a feeling by another band `Boston' which both Brian and I love..
"
So many people have come and gone
Their faces fade as the years go by
Yet I still recall as I wander on
as clear as the sun in the summer sky

It's more than a feeling (more than a feeling)
When I hear that old song they used to play (more than a feeling)
I begin dreaming (more than a feeling)

..and in the end when your intentions are clear and honest you get to where you are reaching for..and people begin to see your point of view and wish that they had the guts to live their life like those who follow their own drum beat.....just like the Band Beach Boys..

I got to see them live 30 years after I heard them first on the LP record back at home. 15000 miles away in another country...
So this is one big thumps up from me for the Beach Boys..your concert at the CNE marked a moment in which I could measure the milestones of my journey so far in life..